I've been living quite the turn of events since I last posted on my blog. A nightmare of sorts if you will. Now my life has a horrific story that has sadly left a gaping wound for the rest of my days. If you were to scroll through my past life (aka: this blog) you will find a magical, rare, meaningful, and incredible love story that is now shattered, non-existent, and gone. His name will no longer live in the present or future of my writing. What's in the past, well, is unable to be erased. I've learned the meaning of the word past. And now there is no turning back.
So, as I continue to put one foot in front of the other, take another breath, live 1 day at a time, and put on an act, I am allowing time to bring me back. My hope is by writing this sad, ugly story of heartbreak and loss, I find healing. Saying it out loud makes it real and that is exactly what it is. This really happened. And some days, that is hard to believe. As I lend my story to the world and lay it all out there for me, I have to hope that I don't walk myself down this path again if love is something that I still want to find. That is yet to be determined. And if I decide to share my life again with someone, it won't be taken for granted, used, stomped on, or insulted.
I'll never speak ill of him. For the life we had was nothing short of a masterpiece, better than the best romantic movie- because it was real, we were real. Until one day it changed without warning. I never saw it coming. That was the day I took a bullet. It moved slow and painful, bleeding out my whole being, withering me away. It wrecked me. It took 37 days to kill me. But then I realized, I was able to start living.
Monday, April 30, 2012
I came across this today and felt it was worthy of having more attention. Even though I am 2 years away from turning 30....I only have 2 years left (well, less than really) to try and figure out what I don't already know or have on this list. And every day is moving more and more quickly to turning 30 so I better get a move on it : )
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
It's been quite a hyadis I've been on these past several months! I am in my last week of being a 27 year old, movin' on up to the land of 28, or how I like to refer to it....2 years away from 30. Nothing major to celebrate with this milestone! Quite strange seeing as though I had my own ideas and plans of where I wanted to be at this stage in life- I am learning more than ever that it isn't my plans but His plans. It's funny no matter how well you know that, it is so hard to let go and just trust. I'm being reminded to do this every day! I'm no pro at it yet but I am trying to let go. I better get back into the swing of blogging because there are so many cool, crazy, and changing things happening in my life. Needless to say, this turning 2 years away from 30 may be a great year : )
Here's the short and sweet version:
My Dupree has moved to the land down under. He has been there a full week now and it is crazy how Chattanooga feels a little empty already! He is such a big personality he can really fill up any room and make it a story to tell the next day. It's safe to say, he is already missed.
DJM received awesome news- news we have been waiting on for a year. He has been accepted to his dream job and is getting the opportunity to actually do it. He will be leaving in June and will be gone for a while : ( My summer will be jet setting off on the weekends to DC. It is a major change, and temporary, for the both of us. It is really exciting! I cannot wait to see where this road leads him.....and us.
As I embark on 28, things are changing, leading me into different directions....literally. It may get a little crazy, but I am up it and ready to take it on!
Here's to the last week as a 27 year old.....and to getting older!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
(at one of my doors)
I am finally unpacked, settled, organized, and comfy in Apartment 104! Welcome to my new 1920's apartment nestled in downtown Chattanooga. It has changed my way of living. I walk to work, I walk everywhere in fact, I have to go home- parents home- to do laundry, I never have the same parking spot, I hear all the downtown parties, and dinner is always at my fingertips if there is nothing in my kitchen.
Life has been good in 104, minus the kitchen flooding. But all that is under control and I am back to living calmly.
My walls are white, which I hate. Mainly because I love color and because all of my main pieces of furniture are also white. Until I can get some things out to my dads to destress and add pops of color, that is. I really love little details and I feel that I have found a few within my 4 walls!
It is a very small place, for me the smaller the better. However, it was not so easy getting used to the bathroom and not having an outlet. That is until I thankfully stumbled across one....You will never guess where it is!
Here's the tour:
This basket is a secret hiding place for shoes. I am still deciding what to hang on the wall.....
This table was a yard sale find from a family of a girl I work with. I am going to destress it a little more and get the chairs out of storage one of these days....and yes, the walls will be covered and the heart bench will also be destressed and there will be no heart! It is from my parents house from way back in the day when hearts were all the southern rage!
View from the door.
This is a vintage trunk found at an Antique store. It has all the original hardware on it and it has become a great piece for such a small apartment.....it is great for storage.
This is the view from my couch. My bedroom is not complete, I haven't even really started on it. I just cannot decide what I want to do in here yet.....I can promise you the walls will have things on them!
This is what I like to call my locker room. I have hung pictures with twine and clothes pins to display all the trips we have been on. I didn't have a place for photo albums so I covered the wall with pictures! The hope chest my dad had made for me when I was in middle school. I love this piece and so thankful I have it. I love burlap, therefor a potato bag was needed as a pillow! The baskets hold everything a girl would need in the bathroom. There are no shelves or cabinets in the bathroom so I have to make my own. So far, it is working! The glass vases are for all the flowers I always have.
Teeny Tiny bathroom! Make shift basket for towels until I can find a small enough table to put in its place.
This is just another view of my room but really, I just wanted you to see the entry way to the kitchen. Yep, you gotta go through the bedroom! I am sure this was meant for the dining room back in the day but now, it is a bedroom.
Most of my books and a few of my favorite keepsakes......
Baskets have been the best for me when dealing with storage. In here you will find plastic cups and tupperware. The pug pic is out of a magazine, it looks just like a friends dog who I call baby seal! So it is there to give to her!
Kitchen cabinets....wine rack......coffee maker. These cabinets are kinda cruddy and appear to have been painted maybe 20 times. But they are doing their job!
This is the view from the door
My favorite succulent! And Carrie Bradshaw books.
What's on my nightstand.....well, minus my book!
Elephant measuring cups, what everyone needs in their kitchen!
Jewel's food and water bowls for when she comes to visit. Or when any dog comes to visit because I don't have my own at this place. It kinda just makes me feel better knowing they are there, I have never been without an animal.
My favorite childhood book that has so much meaning to me.
Old vintage suitcases. I cannot help but think that whoever lived here in the 20's had these stored in their closet. They are also an antique store find.
This is the shoe basket. I am not one of those that makes you take your shoes off when you come in. This is for me to grab and go...there will be snow boots in there soon enough. But I also keep my house shoes in there for the quickness of getting to them. But since I walk to work, these are mainly my weather or walking shoes.
Chattanooga book and succulents! Daniel gave me this little addition, it is perfect for out of town guest to look through. Especially since I live in the heart of downtown.
COW HIDE! I have been wanting one of these for a very long time. I saw one on a wall at a restaurant and fell in love with the idea, thankfully Daniel remembered and got me just what I had been looking for for my birthday!
This is a painting my best friends dad painted and gave to me. This was actually a scene from a trip we all went on together. The orchid is a house warming gift from Daniel's mom.
This is my closet. I have to walk through the living room/dining room to get to it so yes, you can only imagine my hectic mornings and me running through with just panties and a bra : )
Every knob in the place is the old, charming, glass knob. I have falling in love with these!
Every knob in the place is the old, charming, glass knob. I have falling in love with these!
As you can see, I love mason jars and books. I wanted to keep the apartment in it's year and bring lots of vintage pieces to it. I think it will be every changing and moving around but for now, it is where I want it to be. I still have a few things to do, but all in time. I will get there, I just hope it is not right before I leave : )
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Just when I thought my elementary school days had come to an end, I was wrong. I thought that getting chicken pox and pink eye was all over with until I realized that I have fallen victim to the dreaded pink eye. I didn't itch, but yet I have swollen up like I have been punched in the face or stung by a bee.
It all began when I woke up with red and swollen eyes. I figured I just slept hard and it would wear off through the morning. WRONG. After I left work, like normal, I took a nap. Waking up an hour later and feeling terrible, I rolled over and slept for another hour only to wake up with runny eyes, blurred vision, and more swelling. I accepted that I indeed had pink eye.
After crying over how bad and scary I looked, not only with my eye but my hair too.....this is the second time I have had to cancel a much needed hair appointment, I made my eye worse. Lovely.
Eye drops, ibuprofen, and heated wash clothes are my latest medicines. After all, there is no need to have it spread to the other eye too. I have washed my hands so many times they are cracking. I have Lysoled everything I have touched, changed all my towels and pillow cases daily.
It has been an experience, and let me just say, it is much better to have it in 3rd grade because you miss school, you have someone to take care of you, and you can complain about the eye drops. Now if I complain, I just make it harder on myself and there is no one there to help me out.
So, maybe I am not getting older but maybe the opposite? Could I really be getting younger? I think this might be a good thing after all : )
Don't worry, there will be no scary photos in this post of my eye. I am quite frightening to look at at the moment but I hope this medicine does the trick and I don't have to go into hiding any longer.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Puerto Rico......what a beautiful place. We loved it and would recommend everyone to go. It's part of the Caribbean and you don't need a passport, or change money to go there. The water is so blue that is really just holds different shades of color. It's surrounded by mountains and big rocks in the water so it makes a great relaxing scene to read a book. We went to the Rain Forest, Bio Bay, The Famous Kiosks, and snorkeling. We spent our last night in Old San Juan and I just fell in love with the way of life there. If only I could afford to have a tiny apartment on the pebble stone roads........
There are some pretty interesting food choices when dinning out. I am a boring, bland eater but DJM is all about a new taste! Here is a red snapper, and the local dish Mofongo. It is made with plantains and any thing you want from chicken, fish, shrimp, beef, pork, stuffed in it with rice.
Our snorkeling trip:
While in Old San Juan, we visited the fortresses that Christopher Columbus fought in. This is the view from on battle place over the water.
Let's talk about humidity....I mean, really. Could I glisten any more and my hair be any closer to my brain?!?!?!
This bird was quite friendly for a while. Until he pretty much gocked my head off and I went jumping through my skin. Dang birds.
Beautiful view of the Rain Forest. The guy is pretty cute too : )
This is the court house and post office in Old San Juan. Daniel believes that no picture is good unless someone is in it. Therefore, the look on my face is hurry up and take the picture.
Our last night on vacation. We stayed in an amazing hotel for 1 night in Old San Juan, and this picture was taken on the roof where there is a hot tube, lounge chairs, and a great view of the city. Too bad it's so dark, it would have made you jump on the first plane out!
And last but no least, our awesome rental car for the week: